Someone close to you lost someone they love. Someone in your life had a person die that they were not ready to lose. Someone in your life is going through something unimaginable.
You heard about this. You weren’t sure what to do or how to help. So you went to the funeral. You went to the funeral and you left them a card. You told them to let them know if they need anything. You told them you’d always be there.
So you went to the funeral and you went home. You went home, back to your own life, with your family still intact, with your life still stable, without any serious pain.
You went to the funeral and went home, but, so did the family that just lost someone. They went home after the funeral too. Except what they went home to was very different. What they went home to was empty. It was sad. It was lonely.
Because for a few weeks after the funeral people will come in and out. They will call you and check in and remind you to reach out if you need something. They will be there. But not forever.
Then the calls stop. The sympathy cards stop coming. People rarely visit anymore, at least not the way they used to. Because things were different when they went home from the funeral that day. Their lives didn’t change. They didn’t go home to a quiet and empty house that was missing the person that they loved. They went home to normalcy.
They went home to a normal life that wasn’t affected too much by what happened that day. Sure, they think of you and they feel bad. But realistically, their life didn’t change all that much on that day.
And they forget. They forget the way that you were left completely and utterly broken by that loss. They forget that even weeks and months after, you still very much need them. They forget, because unlike you, that day didn’t affect them in the same way.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother
https://www.facebook.com/iamamotherlessdaughter/
https://www.facebook.com/Motherless-Daughters-153858391294874/?fref=ts
You’re so right, Christie. Those who go home still have a home intact. Beautiful post of how it feels to have your live changed completely while the world is still going on as it did before.
exactly – people never understand until they have been through it