One of the hardest realities since losing my mom has been losing the ability to pick up the phone and call her when I need advice or have her to share big news with. It truly is the big decisions, the milestones and the hardships that are the most difficult without her.
Some days truly feel easier. They feel like I’ve made progress in my grief. But how quickly the grief can come flowing back when she is not here when I need her most.
I needed her advice this week. I was faced with a huge decision and I didn’t know what to do. I had talked to my dad, my best friend, my significant other, however, nobody could compare or fill the role of my mom who I know would have had the perfect answer to make everything make sense and fall right into place.
My mom just did that. She knew me better than I knew myself and always knew what to say to make a situation better or make a decision easier. She always knew how to mend a broken heart or how to help me through a hardship.
Her absence stings so hard, especially when it comes to those things.
I miss my mom with my whole heart every day. But some days, even more. Some days, the pain is extra difficult.
I still talk to her. I still pray to her. I still do my best to keep her part of my everyday life. I still ask her for advice.
But I’d be lying if I said living without her wasn’t difficult.
I’d be lying if I said there weren’t always going to be times that are just plain hard. Even this many years later.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother
https://www.facebook.com/iamamotherlessdaughter/
https://www.facebook.com/Motherless-Daughters-153858391294874/?fref=ts